Follow your dreams, they know they way.
I have no job at the moment. I left. I quit my 20-dollars-an-hour radiology practice administration gig. To follow my dreams. Or something like that.
I told my supervisor I would quit in February, but the job screamed comfort. It was challenging, yet familiar, with cool people and in a real life office. Money was good and the hours flexible. Even writing about it right now makes me question my decision. But, five months past February, here I am, jobless.
I know how it looks. So many of the office ladies asked me ‘where I was going’, or ‘do you have another job lined up?’ that I had to come up with a script. ‘Nah, I’m going back to study next year and have to make up a portfolio’ and ‘ I’m temping in the meantime’, I would say. All of which are technically true. But which hide my true passions and the drive which forced me to leave.
I really want to become a writer. Yes. I want to write in the media—which explains the blog—but, what my heart most desires is to write a book. A full on fiction book. Which maybe isn’t that socially acceptable to tell everyone. I care what people think, as much as I try not to, and society and older ‘adults’ expect you to go about things in a traditional route most of the time. Go to uni. Get into a graduate program. Get a job. Have a family. Easy. Done. But it’s not always easy, done. A lot of people I know like me go to uni, and get their degree, because that’s the first step right? I loved uni. But, like me, a lot of people go onto another course or take another route because it didn’t get them the place they wanted to go. Or they figured out too late where they wanted to go only after being in the middle of a degree.
In my case, I’ve only had the courage to go after what I want now. And, because it’s not necessarily easy, or traditional, I don’t tell people I don’t trust to understand. Who knows. Maybe they would support me. Or maybe they would only hate on my dreams because social expectations crushed their own. I can’t live in fear and bitterness like that. It’s no longer a traditional old world. There’s online jobs, there’s creatives kicking ass, and people all over the world have lived out their dreams rather than sitting in woe at a job they have for the sake of it.
I thought I would be judged for a less solid dream, a less dependable one. I don’t have a job, and I haven’t written my book yet. Yes, i have procrastinated. I’m not as perfectly on task as I imagined I would be. It’s scary, and I’m human. I am working on the organization part. I am trying to be better. Writers right? I’ve done my research. Made lists. I’m applying for a journalism course next year, to provide myself with a more solid/ socially acceptable career path. But I will write a book. And for now, I have time to get started. This is just the first rung.
My job was nothing like what I want to be doing in the future. And yes, I probably could’ve balanced both somehow, getting up at 6 AM everyday to write. Daydreaming about it in the office. Maybe checking back between calls and patients. But radiology doesn’t really require any writing, rather precision. Entering details, scanning documents. The rigidity of this practice didn’t really lend itself to inspiration, two extremes cancelling the other, non- paid one out. I do not want to live a half life.
So, here you go, this is why I quit. Judge away. I hope that you all follow your wildest dreams. It’d make a more fulfilled world. We all deserve an amazing life.