I thought I’d share some things that everyone (especially girls) should know about dating. To help yourself out in the world of ghosting and fuckbois that is right now.
I’m dating a lovely man at the moment, and he’s a true keeper. But I didn’t always have such luck in love—I’ve had to kiss a few frogs, and learn some lessons the hard way before I met my prince.
Not everyone wants commitment in their twenties but I definitely did, and I know others who want it just as bad. This isn’t a “How to get a guy/girl” article, although I’m sure you can find those somewhere. It’s about helping yourself out in the dreaded dating pool. Even if you’re just seeing what’s out there. I was totally clueless about ‘boys’ and what was important to keep my head above water. I see so many girls making the same old mistakes that I did. Here’s some things that I wish I knew about dating now:
1. Love yourself
This is number one because it is the most important one. You’ve probably heard it before, but how can you expect someone to love you for you if you’re not taking time out to love all of yourself. Rather than focusing solely on getting dates and finding out how to make people like you, start by liking yourself. Take care of you first. You have to try and build up the thought inside you that you’re amazing goddess, and then when someone tells you that you are, you already know that it’s true.
2. Keep Busy
When you’re dating, on tinder, or just plain obsessed with some person, it’s hard not to spend all your time focused on that. But if you’re following your dreams, or doing things you love in lieu of stalking that hot guy, you’re going to feel much calmer about your circumstances, happier about being single and free to do whatever you want. Also, that guy you’re crushing on will probably be more impressed that you have a full and busy life, over the fact that you have all the time in the world for his attentions.
3. People Can Be Stupid
Not everyone has to like you. It’s their loss if they don’t. People can be stupid sometimes, either in only wanting you when they can’t have you, or in using cowardly techniques to avoid you if they’re not ready or really just not into you. Not everyone is a potential partner, so just because that boy winked at you in the supermarket queue, doesn’t mean he’s going to balls up and asks you out. And if he does and he’s a douche then he’s not your guy. Someday he’ll probably realize he fucked up.
4.You don’t NEED a relationship
Relationships are great, yes. Love is great, yes. But you don’t absolutely need a relationship right now. Honestly, its easier being single sometimes because you can do whatever you want. Without anyone else’s opinion. You can change anything you want and experiment with yourself. Even though it might not feel that way, you have all the time in the world. People fall in love in a week. Being single is such a growing time so make the most of it for now.
5. You wont have to try so hard when its right
I say make the most of this time because when it happens it can happen like that. When its the right timing and the right person you wont have to agonise about anything. You wont have to try hard to get their attention, or wonder what they think of you. You’ll know. It’ll just happen, and work. So all you can do is work on yourself, and when the timings right you’ll have found yourself and your prince/ princess (if you want it) . Don’t despair if it takes awhile, it took me a year of solid searching. But when it happens you’ll know that you’re ready.
It can be tough being a romantic in this ages of fuckboys and girls. But don’t despair if you are. You’ve got you. Someone will come along someday.